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Week 3 |
Week 3 Hello all, I just needed to say that this week’s photo is the one I can really relate to. The earlier two weeks of the baby and child with mother were very difficult for me to relate to. As I shared in the first week, my parents were World War II survivor’s, and suffered deep emotional wounds. I did not find solace in their arms. After many years of therapy and prayers there is a peace and forgiveness. Today, I find myself as my mother’s care giver. I am there for her emotionally, physically and spiritually. ( My father died 16 years ago) This week’s photo , the readings the nature, is what sustained me as a child and does today. I find it difficult to sit still in church these days- however, a walk in the forest nourishes my spirit. Thanks for letting me share. Week 3 Yes, I stayed awhile at the Harmony week. Why? Not because I found harmony in my life but because I found discord in my life, my marriage, and my whole day. So, I took six months to seek the harmony that I knew I needed. With spiritual direction I learned about: putting boundaries on what I do and say and even more importantly I am putting boundaries on what I allow others to do and say to me. I learned about bipolar disorder, I learned more about prayer and meditation and I reread some of the “for the journey.” Now I am ready to move ahead. I'm about half-way into Week 3, and I'm so pleased and want to comment on some of the sharings from others . . . also, share a couple of special moments this week I've experienced. First: The sharings from others are so special. I'm moved by the sincerity and love from so many. Also, their ability to express deep, deep emotions and thoughts! I am honored to be a part of this group. How brilliant that the Father is showing us our 'brothers and sisters.' This is huge! I am an only child. Being in this Retreat with you means a lot to me. Thank you. And I pray for you, too. This morning as I entered the day in prayer and reading, I picked up a little booklet dated l974, by Rev. Norman Vincent Peale, a positive-thinking- teaching Christian minister who very much reminded me of my dad . . . also a Christian who lived to about the same age as Doctor Peale before going to be with the Lord. (91-yrs.) I loved and admired both men . . . such strong character and faith. As I handled the little booklet I was immediately reminded just how long I've been studying, and searching to know more of God's love, his Truth and his words. (Was actively pursuing more of God way back then in l974. God kept leading, I kept following.) As I read Doctor Peal's story about a friend's miracle in his life . . . a wonderful, positive story, I was impressed to read Psalm 62 which Doctor Peal referred to as he spoke about his friend and Hope. His friend, who always seemed to have so many troubles, finally got his miracle . . . and it was inspired then manifested by HOPE! Reading Psalm 62 my spirit began to stir! I could feel creativity activating; a strong desire to write, paint, sing, dance, praise God! A strong "Yes, Lord" . . . "Yes, yes, yes. I know that you love me and are always with me, and I do want to praise you always! And I do have HOPE! I know it is your grace, your love, and faithfulness which gives me Hope." Later, I was listening to the wonderful Franciscan Priest, Father Benedict Groeschel, as he delivered a teaching on HOPE! And he too emphasized the beauty of God's word, HOPE, and Psalm 62. (I didn't plan this . . . the booklet, and the radio program . . . but, I'm as certain as I can be that this morning the Lord twice affirmed me in his Word . . . HOPE! Not once, but twice! And these two affirmations 'fit' in the beauty of this third week, in grasping the significance of being an imporant part of the larger perspective, and why it is so important to get that down in our spirits with the love that the Father has for us, and how he longs for us to recognize it. It's very exciting! Thank You, Father! Blessings to each of you! I am following this retreat, now in week three, which begins to tie together two important strands of personal and spiritual growth for me. Weeks 1 and 2 were about the “inward journey” and now in Week 3 we are beginning to let the “outward journey” come into play. We all have these two paths to follow during the course or our lives. In this sharing page, we are teaching and learning from each other about our two journeys. The inward journey takes us into our own life and soul and presents an important horizon and opportunity for change. The outward journey takes us into society and our relationship with our fellow man. From there we can learn about our unique talents and then find our own special way to serve others, as Jesus commanded. Peace to all. I found all of this on line, after a college hunting trip for my son to Holy Cross, but I am the one who has received the education. -- David, 50 years old, living and working for a time in China, born and raised in Buffalo NY. During week 3 I am feeling slower to the creator. I am seing his harmony in the beauty of the creation. I feel ever closer to him as I see and observe how God is everywhere. -- Lana I have forgotten what I am here for. I was chasing something that is gone, the love of my wife whose heart has left. I have to feel in my heart the love of the lord and serve him with all my heart and desire. It will be a work in progress but the outcome will be positive forever. greetings to all of you. and thank god for the sharings. im getting into some routines with the retreat which are working for me. now on the 1st day of the week i scan through all the written matter including the sharings and then go back each day and focus on smaller parts to see where they lead me. this week as i have remained troubled about my decision not to accompany my son and his family on their move i was seeing no clear indicators until i was glancing through the sharing and 2 people spoke of their children and grandchildren. and it was a blessing for me. now i shall let the young ones go to their adventurings and i think i can go on with what i do. as a recovering addict i have the greatest peace when im amongst my meetings and my people and here in this beauiful place i have been given to live in i have a balance which is working better than i ever recall my life working. with a combination of solitude and time with my people . at the end of the 3rd week it felt to me as if i could see myself placed in the setting god has palced me in but not quite sure of what role i was meant to play. i entred the 4th week wanting to remain in 3rd and UNDERSTAND but i had already promised myself to be obedient to the pattern that the wise people who had formulated this retreat will have created. so i do the week starting each wednesday which is when i began. i resist the temptation to go more quickly or more slowly even if i feel i have either mastered it or not grasped it. and last week it seemed to me i hadnt grasped it but i think gods grace will work unseen. after years of na and aa meetings i am accustomed to this way of being taught. thank you to the 2 men who spoke of being grandparents. i love my family and was blessed to be brought out of drug addiction to raise the 2 children and become a grandmother. but when i place that role above the other callings god has for me i become spiri! tually ill at ease . when it is all balanced i have peace and joy . for me the inspiring people came in a rush of memories and now im paring them down to see what it really is that has inspired me. i feel the unfreedoms . i heard a man say last year that there are anchors caught on something deep and unknown that stop him from sailing free and that makes sense to me. please continue the sharing because it is helping me greatly specially without a religious community of my own. yours. -- Nell I'm well into week 3. Up to now focusing has been difficult for me. Since I'm doing this retreat I see no benefit in judging myself. I believe I am focused because God is doing it for me. As I've heard it said "progress not profection" Pray for me I'll pray for you Bob I'm well into week 3. Up to now focusing has been difficult for me. Since I'm doing this retreat I see no benefit in judging myself. I believe I am focused because God is doing it for me. As I've heard it said "progress not profection" Pray for me I'll pray for you Bob well. i suspected when this week began that the peace and grandeur of the view may lead to some strange new places . and it has. the concept of being created by god so that i can carry out his desires for me has made sense and something has registered with me as well as far as everything in my world each day being specially and specifically put there for me to use so i can carry out gods wishes for me . i have thought that for a while living up here on this hill and looking out over the world. i know i am able to pray for the unseen people out there. and it looks often like a wonderful stage setting to act out a life on. i dont have a catholic background so i must sound naive to many of you in my understandings and the untutored searching .i am so glad to have you all out there. this week i am torn in some decision making as my son and his young family prepare to move to a mountain city some distance from here. it will leave m! e here in this place without any family members and in a community that i have only been in for app 5 years. in that 5 years both my parents have died in our hometown. there is a rift between my siblings and me. but i have been blessed with 2 little grandaughters and am Nana . my son who had battled is healthy and happy . a year ago i had bright promise of family all moving here to live near me and now they are all leaving . so i sit on my porch and look out over the world with this weeks theme and try to keep my focus. that god has created this - for me to use to carry out his desires for me. i feel called to stay here which leaves me and jesus sitting on the porch looking out. and i wonder - my heart seems to be cracking apart but something tells me there is god work in this for me. and who knows how it will change me. and smiles come now and then. i cant recall how i even found the creighton site and then to know this will end on the eve! of my 57th birthday delights me. once more into the void dear lord. a fortunate image for this week- especially to allow NOTHING at all to become too big. and im also allowing NOTHING at all to be too small. when im not weeping for the thought of 2 little girls wihtout nana about in their daily lives - i have a sense that there is work god wants to do in me and work he wants me to do which cant really be done with them around. even if its only falling apart a little more. standing under the cross. isnt always for children to onlook. love to you all. this is a grand adventure -- Nell from the Tweed - Week 3 I'm a little shakey.I think I'm still in shock from the first two weeks. I've had knowings and moment of bliss that I can't discribe. I've also found myself before images to awful to bare. I could only hide my face and ask God to take them from my sight. Right now I'm trusting the process and moving on with week three. Pray for me. I'll be praying for you. Bob - Week 3 this weeks photo touched me . i live high on a hill and often sit looking out over the world (without the wine since im a recovering alcoholic/addict ). this is a photo of my daily place where i can get perspective on my life. very strange things are happening as i go into the 3rd week. i am interested to see what the week brings. for now i just wanted to share this beautiful place that god has placed me in. on the next hill a little yellow pony lives amongst some fine racehorses and i love that yellow pony. i think mebbe im gods little yellow pony. not as fine as the reachorses in some ways but special neverthelss and then i look further to the east all the way to the ocean. nell. I had fallen by the wayside in my daily retreat. I let guilt and sorrow overwhelm me because I blamed myself for my daughter's death. I hid and cut myself off from others. And so I returned to week 3 to start again at that place. Psalm 138 tells us we call on God and God answers. I realized I had not called upon God, but remained locked in myself, hiding and prideful. In my kitchen this morning I stand with coffee in one hand, but both arms raised and cry out, "God ! God help me!" - Susan Weeks 1 and 2
were draining for me. I have been seeing a psychologist for about
a year and this was ground I have covered so many times. At least
my psychologist is Christian and we do talk about my life spiritually
and secularly. Even for someone who’s studied art history as little as I have, “perspective” is a loaded term. It calls to mind the flatness of painted spaces before the renaissance, the dawning of a “natural” perspective with its infinite “vanishing point”, and, much more recently, David Hockney’s inversion of that renaissance perspective, which seems to collapse toward the viewer. The idea that all of creation is for my salvation felt very much like David Hockney’s collapsing perspective: it seemed like it should be going “away” from me, toward God, not toward me. It is an enormous, often over-sweet burden, like a debt of sumptuous gifts. Some things—like coffee—are easier to envision as helping me toward salvation. But what about that person who despises me, who ridicules me, who bullies my family members? Seeing that person as a gift is a worthwhile struggle. Week 3 - Tom, Pennsylvania I am on week #3 trying to catch up to the rest of you. The power of the sharing part is strong. One person wrote “the desire to desire….” At first I thought there was a mistake. Surely, the writer meant “the desire to change.” But no, when I reread the line it was meant to be just that. Not just the desire to change but even the desire to desire is valued by our God. It reminds me of the title of a play “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change.” I want to see it someday. I laugh at the irony. I thought about it in terms of our retreat and rewrote it this way…Christ saying to us, “I love you, you’re not perfect, let me help you change.” I am new
to this retreat and I want to thank God for the opportunity to share
my thoughts on this reading for Week 3. St. Ignatius's thought that
the earth and everything in it was created for me. I'm not comfortable
with that wording. I recognize that his words don't give us license
to abuse the earth's offerings in order to build some kind of unnecessary
surplus for me. I feel that the earth and all its systems was co-created
with me rather than for me and it is my responsibility to care for
the earth and to take from it only what is necessary for life. Am I doing enough?...or Am I counting too much on myself? Am I being complacent?...or Am I being proud ? These are the
questions I woke up with this morning I certainly chose the right activity to start this week's retreat. I went fly fishing! On a beautiful fall day, in great countryside, with cooperative large brown trout it's hard not to give great thanks for all that we have. I find the reflection on praising, revering and serving very motivating as I went about my work this week. I contrast how I felt for large parts of this week with one of my more common approaches to living … all things are there for my annoyance especially if they get in the way of what I want to do or feel I should do at that particular moment. I thank God for his presence in my life and I pray to refine my desires so that I find His purpose for the next few years of my life with real clarity. On Sunday, I went outside to a quiet park setting to try and ease my tension and appreciate the beauty of God's creations. As I sat I noticed a man put several bags of groceries on the sidewalk and then I saw why. He was approaching a woman and toddler. She put the child down and the man opened his arms wide from several feet away. With a look of utter delight, trust, and love, that baby ran on his unsteady little feet straight to Daddy, who scooped him up. This is what is meant by becoming like a little child -- leaving the safety of our own world, and then running toward Our Father with trust, even though we could very well stumble. I pray that I may grow more like a child in trust that my Father will catch me and will always love me and that I will always journey toward His waiting, open arms. When
I open my eyes, I discover such graces. I am in
week 3 and struggling. In my head I know that God loves me unconditionally
but in my heart, I just can't seem to "get it". I think
I am trying to see too big a picture and am being overwhelmed by the
evil and greed that permeates our world. I pray that I can simplify
my thoughts to being able to handle them. I live in the mountains
of Montana and use the beauty around me for perspective. Maybe I will
understand more as the week goes on.This is to say thank you to the
woman who wrote about the dream she had about her father, who had
sexually abused her as a child. In the dream, she was a young woman
and her father was "cleaned up, handsome, and not drunk".
He helped her across the street & says he is sorry for 'pulling
her' & 'treating her like a little girl' and she says 'that's
okay, you are just getting to be the daddy like you really wanted
to be'. And I, too, was crying...I was not sexually abused by my Dad,
but he was unfaithful to my Mom &, really, me & my brothers,
he drank too much and left us alone when my Mom was at work, thinking
that he was with us. I would lie in bed crying & praying that
he would come home so there would not be an argument. But it never
happened that way. My Dad died when I was 27 yrs. old. I always wondered
if he was able to get to heaven. He never went to Holy Communion for
all the years I can remember. I had a dream where he came to me in
a store in the neighborhood where ! I am in week 3 and struggling. In my head I know that God loves me unconditionally but in my heart, I just can't seem to "get it". I think I am trying to see too big a picture and am being overwhelmed by the evil and greed that permeates our world. I pray that I can simplify my thoughts to being able to handle them. I live in the mountains of Montana and use the beauty around me for perspective. Maybe I will understand more as the week goes on. Before I started the retreat I was very sucidal. My husband has a very negative attitude and criticises everyone. I get so fed up most of the time in defending the whole world and having a positive attitude. I also worry too much about our 2nd son. I refuse to accept God's will for him. He's a very clever boy but discontinued his studies. He hangs around with drug addicts and I'm afraid of what might happen to him. So I have engaged myself in a few regular church activities to be of service to others and keep myself busy in the weekends. Now I'm in front of a big cross road as my husband wants to retire in a year and return to our country. I do not want to follow him as our sons are not yet independant. So I keep praying and trusting in the Lord to give me courage. I ask Him a lot of questions and I hope that someday I'll have my answers. I love the picture this week and was so happy to see it. The first 2 weeks the photos made me very uncomfortable. I don't feel tuned in to this retreat, or I feel I fall short of everyone else's efforts. Hard to put into words. I have a big problem praising God and a bigger one loving Jesus. I read some of the sharing and went back to the picture of the week and pictured myself sitting on the right side of Jesus. Very very comfortable. I want to be close to him, just don't know how. This picture is enough for me for now. Thanks to all who have shared here.Today is a great day for smiling. I’m near the end of my third week of the retreat. The first two were so positive, such joyous experiences, that I knew a let-down was inevitable. Now, at week three, I feel distant from the Lord, mostly because I have been caught up in the U.S. election. It feels as though this involvement leaves no room for "spiritual" things. Yet, as the morning prayer puts it, "may all my encounters, reflections, even the frustrations and failings, all place my life in your hands." In other words, it need not be just the so-called "holy" moments I place in God's hands; rather, I place my life in His hands -- the totality of that life. Yesterday, I tried something daring: I prayed in words that revealed my "unacceptable" thoughts. A sample: "Lord, what I really want today is admiration and praise. Those may not be worthy goals, but I long for affirmation. Help me to accept my own vanity, my own weakness and need for reassurance." Immediately, I saw that acknowledging certain qualities in myself, speaking them aloud, could help me react to the strivings of others with more compassion. The tension between a time for reflection and solitude and a time for political and social involvement remains strong. I'm a feast or famine sort of person, one that tends to go off in one direction. The idea of starting work or a new project with a silent prayer, a simple raising of the hands to God -- that helps. I struggled in week three, mostly with the idea that all the world is there all for me. It seemed intellectually dishonest and self-absorbed, and I could hardly get past those obstacles. Then I remembered the sharing someone did about the idea of God having tattoes of our names written all over. Although I am sick of tattoes in general, I love this idea of God with tattoes, with my name among them. This became my week three, and seems the only way that I can hold onto the week. I am better in week four, because I do have have my heroes. The beauty of nature reminds us of the power and splendor of God and his kindness and care for each of us. This thought helps us to focus on the actions of God in our personal lives and understand what it means to reverence and glorify God. Week 3 I am happy to have had the ooportunity to concentrate, thank and appreciate all the blessings in my life. I was not feeling very well this week fighting off a virus. Thanking God did not come as easy as it should have. I did not have much left to give to others. I still feel that I am not quite open to God's love. I still feel alone when I know I shouldn't. I still feel unappreciated when I know I shouldn't. I still feel lonely when I know I shouldn't. I am still trying my best and will continue with this retreat. I look forward to the day that God is enough for me to be thankful for. Week 3 My week number 3!!!! I loved the poem "by Rilke". I really would like to know God's plans for me.... I prepared myself for different things, not for the things I do now.....but, even when I do not understand...I continue my conversation with Jesus... step by step...in some ways, the door opens by itself....maybe someday I will have the big picture and I am going to know the entire plan He has prepared for me...... I'm in the third week of the retreat and I've been struck by the phrase that our God "is not outdone in generosity." This is a great source of comfort and reveals the compassionate and giving nature of God. In a time when the world needs peace and restoration, I am finding this even for myself. My hope is that I can resolve some of the inner turmoils that we all experience and draw closer to God in my daily living. Even consciously realizing that "He is near" gives a new sense of hope and security to me each day. May the grace of the Holy Spirit bring each one of us on this journey into a deep and lasting relationship with God. Through part of Week Three of the Retreat I was praying to want to or be able to praise God. It seemed like it was so strange in me that I felt like I, for no apparent reason, could just not praise God. I did not know why I was going through this and I felt quite ashamed of this. I talked to God in prayer (and had no problem with offering prayer in general for petitions etc.) but just had this block to praise as it seemed. Then one day during the week I was sitting in Chapel when the sun was setting and shedding beautiful light across the chairs and floor of the Chapel. It was beautiful! In the midst of this in my mind I just started singing the part of the hymn "We praise you O Lord for all your works are wonderful. We praise you O Lord, forever is your love." Then it hit me: I am praising God!!!!!! God had answered my prayer to allow me to be able to praise Him. This hymn in my head was something spontaneous that I had not contemplated but that just began. Then God gave me the gift to be able to recognize that I was/am praising God! This is week 3 for me in this retreat. I am so grateful The Father has led me to discover this opportunity. My tradition generally equates spiritual maturity with acts of obedience and service. I have grown so much in just 3 weeks of reflecting upon the greatness of the Lord and the greatness of His love for me. I am more at peace with the Lord because I am understanding in a very personal way that His love for me doesn’t wane when I fail Him and others. I am starting to personally experience what I only thought in my head: that His love for me really is perfect because He is perfect. I used to think the Father tired of me. Now I am seeing He does not tire of me, like we do of others, because He is incapable of growing weary. Beginning week 3 - I love this picture. To remind me to stop, and take time out to sit and talk with you, be with you. How symbolic the candle and wine- You God are the light of the world and the cup of salvation and all creation praises you. Thank you God for everything you have given me, especially for all those things that I forgot to thank you for or have taken for granted. The two chairs - confession time, why not. you know me already and still love me. I'm sorry for all the times I did not thank you for my life , my family. my children, job, and irritations in life.I'm sorry for doing my own thing not wanting to wait for your plan, trying to hurry up, going my own way. forgive me, God and change me to follow you patiently. teach me to pray, guide me in your way, and give me the strengh to endure. I saw this in the church bulletin " each Christian needs a half an hour of prayer each day, except when we are busy; then we need an hour. -St Francis de Sales Help me give you an hour, Jesus for you give yourself to me in the Eucharist.and for this, I am truly thankful. p.s. Pour blessings on the priests! I am on week 3 of the retreat. I would love to say that it has been one, wonderful journey with no dark moments, but the truth of the matter is - there have been moments of incredible awe and love for God as well as moments when I beg God to please tell me why He created someone as obviously defective as myself. I believe that God loves me, though. I believe that there is more than I can understand. I want to continue this journey with God, despite the incredible dark moments which threaten to overwhelm my heart and feelings. Please, dear God, I know that You love me. Help me to see You better, to follow Your lead, to be the person whom You want me to be. I can't do it without you. How can I let all of you on this
same journey know how much the “Light” has been showed
to me? It seems that everything that I see & hear & feel touches
me so deeply, it can’t be described in words. Our wonderful
God speaks to us in a language that each of us will understand. If
you love nature, He shouts His love to you in its loveliness and power…if
you love music, He sings a love song to you there…if you love
people, He shows His love as they embrace you or laugh with you or
cry with you or just listen to you…if you love to be alone,
without noise or clutter, He speaks to you in silence. I list all
these particular things, because that is how He shows me. Sometimes,
though, I am tricked into thinking this is not true, that joy and
suffering were not connected, and I never found a true peace. God
helped me to forgive myself & others and let go of all that was
blocking His beautiful Light from helping me to see this all so clearly.
My prayer this morning is that you will be able to capture this peace
& harmony, and that you, & all of us will really “let
go and let God”. On the radio the other morning, the announcer
shared that whenever He feels worried or troubled about something,
he imagines our Lord cupping His hands around his face, looking at
Him with such love, and telling Him, “Everything will be alright.”
What a beautiful image! I am in week 3 and struggling. In my head I know that God loves me unconditionally but in my heart, I just can't seem to "get it". I think I am trying to see too big a picture and am being overwhelmed by the evil and greed that permeates our world. I pray that I can simplify my thoughts to being able to handle them. I live in the mountains of Montana and use the beauty around me for perspective. Maybe I will understand more as the week goes on. I was moved by several Mass readings
this week and they seem to fit into the retreat: Reading through the prayers makes me feel peaceful. Fine for your head to know that God loves you and has a plan for you, but when you are at a place in your life where you are not sure what direction that plan should take it is necessary to just remind yourself that there IS a plan and that if you watch daily that plan will be revealed to you. I am definitely at a crossroad. All that I have been up to this time, teacher, wife, mother, friend has changed drastically because of my health. I need to watch and find out what God has me scheduled for next. I need to be of service somewhere. And, yes, to be served. I'm okay with that too. But I know that that isn't all there is. I need to reach out too. The days have been beautiful! We have had many happy family gatherings. Summer is a more relaxed, reflective time. I am confident God will speak to me of "What's next" I took two weeks to do this week. I had trouble getting into it. But I realize now that the Lord was helping me to appreciate my ministry - music. I lead a choir and the liturgy. I always felt it wasn't much of a ministry, although I do feel right in it. To give praise to the Lord , I am beginning to see that it is a very important ministry. I also felt odd asking the Lord to help me, rather than my helping him. But I sure appreciate his help. I am very grateful for his help, as a matter of fact. I think that this is what I'm most grateful for this week, his help. I am a very fearful person and talking with Jesus about what I fear and placing it in his hands hellps me to face my daily life with hope. I am coming to the close of week three; it has been an up and down week some stressing or distressing situations, but thank God each day I could lay in bed and reflect on something that was observed or felt that was of God. I have been observing beauty which is easy do to this time of year,even though it rained most of the week. My drive to work helped me glimpse at the beauty of flowers and trees , though it is in the city I did search and find beauty. I was able to reflect this week on a past experience when I was on a mountain in Maine and watching the sunset with my husband... it was so incredibly beautiful with colors that were so vibrant and glorious that I actually broke out in a quiet song on the drive down the mountain. I sang "sing to the mountains, sing to the sea, lift your voices, lift your heart , this is the day the Lord has made let all the world rejoice". I never had that kind of spontaneous gratefulness to God for His unbelievable creation . It
was a gift to find that moment of reflection, it gave me a feeling
of peace and hope that though my husband and I are often too busy
with the daily grind and we have been struggling with closeness at
this particular time in our lives; we both shared the presence of
God in the beauty of that sunset on the mountain. Even though
my husband is not practicing the faith, He felt the presence of God
in creation, which makes realize that God is waiting for us patiently
and lovingly to find Him everywhere. To pray that all that I ever am in life; and all that I ever do; and ever become in my life; that all this will be for the greater glory of God and all of God's revelations, is trully overwhelming me, and then I realize that I am a child full of wonder. As I start week three, I am again struck by the theme of the week: gratitude and a focus on the thought that all of creation is for me. Several years ago the thought occurred to me that perhaps I am the only one who is not yet saved, and everyone else is here to help me get there. When I think of things, events, and people from that perspective, everything becomes ‘acceptable,’ and takes on immense value. I pray this week to be observant, to ‘notice’ everything, and to give thanks always. I'm the end of week 3. I tried to reflect some connections with God in all things around me. involved in many church activities over years, I hardly realized all things that I have was created and is creating by God for myself. For me God was thought to be the Mightiest in the sky, not to be the creator I easily can find and experience in everyday life and my neighbors. Perhaps my cultural background- grew under strong Confucian social system-caused this more easily. But most important is to find out that during the third week. and the 3rd week retreat helped me to discover the purpose of my life and myself as God's beloved human being. I will start the 4th week confidently. I am finishing my third week on this retreat. It is really turning into a great blessing from God to participate, thanks to all who have made this possible. I did alot of noticing this week, and found the introductory notes on week three to be very helpful. I like this quote "God has an intense desire to help us achieve the end for which we were lovingly created by God. So, by our thinking and watching this week we are coming to know God better." I've been trying to do this, to slow down and notice God's creation, and to thank him. I've begun working at a department store and have a task of folding the shirts to go on the tables. Well, my mom never folded my clothes, she usually just threw them on the bed or on the floor. It is such a simple thing, but the act of folding the clothes gives me a sense of how God is teaching me to care for myself, by teaching me to fold clothes at the store. He loves us so much he wants us to ! be clean, and look nice, and to be cared for. I would have liked my mom to have cared enough about me to have wanted to fold my clothes. I guess I always wanted to feel cared for. Now I know that I have someone who cares for me, beyond all understanding, and that is Jesus. I feel blessed and almost underserving of such caring, but I can say "thank you", and follow him. I am starting my 3rd. week and feel so much joy in my heart to be able to experience the loving patience of God in my life. The loving presence of my 91 yr. old Dad whom I love. I thank God everyday for the great love He has for me and my family and friends. It hurts to hear people think different about God but sometimes I feel that if God takes my Dad, I will understand why they feel and think that way. I pray this retreat will help me accept God's Will no matter what. Years back I used to say "I will do God's will no matter what " with so much faith but now I find myself holding back from saying it for many reasons which keep me from experiencing joy in my heart. I was reflecting on things around me and how each was there for the purpose of bringing me closer to God. When I looked in my purse one morning, money which I had there belonging to someone else was missing. I was immediately very angry and blamed my son who had admitted to taking money in the past but this time he said he hadn't taken it. I left for work angry and later in the day my husband called to tell me that there had been another friend in our home and we were both aware that he had been accused of stealing in the past. As a child I had been involved in sexual activities with others and I had a resentment towards my mother because I thought she should have known what was going on and done something about it. My attitude to my son was I won't let the same thing happen to him. If he has a problem I will help him sort it out - except he didn't see any problem. I though he would eventually confess or offer some explanation, instead he went on about his normal life and even went off and had his hair dyed blond (its naturally black) showing that he had other things of interest to him. I tried to find God in this situation and eventually got the message. If my first thoughts had been about God's purpose for me things would have been different. (3) I had not been aware of how God wanted me to praise him and grow in awe and love for him and to recognise that the rest of creation was also there for that purpose. I was too busy trying to sort out right and wrong in others. I saw how readily I looked for faults in other people and didn't see my own. I should have been trying to love and help these two people not wait for them to get into bother and then offer to rescue them. It
has brought me to a place of repentance but I still find it difficult
to change. As one of your prayers says "It would be easier if
I was clear." I am in the third week of this retreat, and have found God touching me at a very deep level. He has shown me areas of my past which he wants to heal, and then bring me into a greater awareness of the extent of his love. I have found a great deal of pain in my increasing self-awareness, especially in my close relationships, but also a surer grasp of the certainty of God's love for me. I call it facing my Deep Dark Pool, and then finding the inextinguishable light of Jesus at the bottom. Please pray for me as I work through this retreat, and particularly for a very dear friend who I know I have hurt deeply recently by my unthinking attitude. My thanks to this site for the opportunity to work through my relationship with God in this informal, non-threatening way. I just want to share a few thoughts with you today. I am in week 3 and struggling every step of the way. But I am truly humbled by this experience and both look forward and dread at the same time. I was worried last night that I had not yet ready or thought anything about this week and then this AM I had an argument with my husband after the kids went to school. I blamed him for every aspect of my life. Then I came to work........logged on here..............saw the beautiful picture and realized I really needed week 3. I feel so much better now and I even called him and asked him to take me to lunch. I believe that it will take me longer than 34 weeks but for once I am trying to not "control" but to let God's love set the pace. We all need stuff along the way in life....................and this retreat seems to fit me right now. I hope that at the end of my journey here that I will have learned something. I wish all of you who are on this journey or even just thinking about it all of God's blessings! I started this on-line retreat just three weeks ago. I am a cradle Catholic and although I have always had "faith" and been involved in many church activities, I went through a long difficult period of my life believing that God and the Church had abandoned me. A major crossroad for me came about a year ago when I attended a retreat whose theme was "Rediscovering the Depth of the Father's Love for Us". I knew then that the Jubilee Year was the time for me to make things right with God. In the fall I accepted an invitation to make a Cursillo Weekend and experienced the most wonderful spiritual awakening of my entire life. God gave me the strength I needed to accept his love and forgiveness and to rekindle my relationship with him. Then I came across this on-line retreat quite by accident, but knew I was meant to find it! While reading the sharing this week, I realized that throughout my life I tried many wrong ways to "scratch acceptance from the walls" until I finally realized that God loves me just as I am, with all my faults. I am most grateful for this precious gift and have placed my trust in God and will continue to enjoy his gifts and unconditional love along this journey. I have received so much peace of mind and will be forever thankful for the strength and courage given to me which allowed me to overcome my fears and take that "leap of faith" which I so desperately needed. Thank you God, for your constant love and attention. I am in the third week of this retreat and I feel a bit relieved to be here. The reflection of the first two weeks had me looking at parts of my life I had long since forgotten and sort of wished I had never seen. I especially hoped God had never seen, but I know better. Now at 47 and as a recent "empty-nester" I feel the urgent need to really find my 'calling' in God's plan. I have been trying many types of meditative prayer and hope that this will be the breakthrough I need. I know that this is a marathon not a sprint and I must let God work on me in my busy life. I do feel frustration at times and a need to hurry up and 'do it' but maybe looking at the big picture this week will help me get that perspective I need. I'm beginning week three today. It's taken me 4 weeks to get here. Doing my picture album in one week was just too much for me, so I gave myself permission to take as long as I needed. Reviewing my life story has revealed many things. I'm grateful for that. Thank you for your prayers, support and especially your honest sharing about your retreat experience. Warmly, Pam I am in week 3 of the retreat. The past few days I have been fortunate enough to leave my desk and get back into "the field" - the DeSoto National Forest located in southern Mississippi - to do some survey work. The particular area I am working in is truly gorgeous and awe-inspiring - a majestic longleaf pine forest replanted by the Civilian Conservation Corps in the 1930s on what was a barren wasteland.... No roads, no trails, just woods. I press my shovel into the ground and scoop the soil into the wooden-framed mesh screen. The soil is cold and damp - almost makes my hand hurt - and smells of sweet sassafras root. All of this just for me -- God is so grand and more than worthy of anything I could ever give him. I
screen the soil and find the stem of an ancient spear point and a
prehistoric pottery sherd (that's my job as an archaeologist).
A few feet away, an old Coke bottle from the 1920s lies half buried
in the ground. As isolated as it may appear, many people were
here, many times before me. What did this place look like to
them?? Did they feel the same way?? Lord, thank you for
showing me the big picture. On a very bad day, one during which I realized that my 26-year-long career as a lawyer was over [with my present employer, anyway]; and finding no immediate employment prospects for a 51-year-old female lawyer, I happened upon the web address for the retreat. I've struggled my entire life with discerning what it is that God is saying to me. At that moment, I knew that I was directed to enter on the retreat journey. I am on Week 3. I have noticed that I am more open to what I perceive to be God's "messages", direction, or whatever it is that He uses to guide me. The best result of that openness occurred last week, when my mother, who is dying of cancer, said to me [mind you, as she was baking bread and making stew for my Dad's supper] that her illness and that of my father [who is also slowly dying] have taught my Mom to live in the day; to appreciate what each day sends; and to let God's goodness chart our course for each day. This is a woman of great faith. That faith has given Mom a peace that I hope will be mine one day. I knew that God spoke to me through my Mom; and I wondered whether I would have understood or attended to God's message had I not entered into this retreat experience wholeheartedly. My hope is that each of us retreatants experiences the hope and joy ~ and peace ~ that my Mom has practiced as naturally as she breathes. They are part of her. That condition of total acceptance of God's grace and love, and total faith and unwavering hope in Him, are what I need and yearn to achieve. Thanks
for this opportunity to share. I enjoy greatly the other message which
are posted. They are all inspiring and fruitful. I'll be back!
Have just begun week three, after visiting this site periodically for over a year. The time seems right for this retreat now.... We became "empty nesters" this last month, and I have found lots more time to give to more serious reflection on my relationship with God. During the last three weeks, the retreat has helped me realize that I can see God in others and anything, if I take a moment to look. And when I do that, it naturally leads me to quietly praise and thank God...something I've been remise in doing much of the last 20 years or so. So,
I want to say thank you very much to those who have created this retreat,
and all of you who are on your own spiritual journey here. To
those of you who have asked for prayers in your Sharing, you
certainly have mine, and I ask for yours. I look forward to
the rest of the retreat, and pray that I will more readily see God
in others as I grow in my relationship with Jesus. May God bless
all of you! The guide for this, the third week, says that it's all about perspective, to not let anything get too big. First day and there is a giant thing that -- as it always does-- has taken away every ounce of trust and sereniity. It's a giant fear, terror, that I'm going to be found out as bad, that what I'm doing is not good at all, that I will fail and everyone will know it. This is a great insight, particularly since this is a lifelong problem--and I'm 55. The pain is as bad or maybe even worse than ever. It wipes out every other awareness. I wouldn't recognize a compliment if it came my way. I'm expecting the worst. The constant thought that erupts within off and on all day is: it's hopeless. Of course, I know it isn't hopeless. I know that feelings are not facts, particularly where God is concerned. I know this feeling is not rational, but it still is overwhelmingly paihful. This must be the nugget of gold that God want me to focus on, an area He wants to heal. There's nothing to do but trust and walk through it. I do hope I learn the lesson this time. I want someone to take over my life for me, to take away the pain, to make all the hard things easy, to make something good happen. That will be the Lord. For the 3rd week of the retreat I've taken the words of St. Ignatius and placed them on my computer screen at work. This way I can reflect on these words. It really helps, especially when I've had a hard day at work. Even the bad times are put before us so we can achieve the purpose of praising God. Donna W. This is the beginning of my third week. The 2nd wk of recollection has helped me realize the selfish nature of my past. In particular, I remember years ago when I was in college, the Forbes Magazine cover depicted a man standing on top of the world. The caption read something like, "The richest man in the world". I used to look at that picture everyday and say, "That's me!" That was my goal. How foolish, narrow minded, and Selfish I was! Now this past week, many years later, I see the flaws in my own desires. They served no purpose of His kingdom whatsoever. I thank you Lord for holding me close to you through it all. We are all truely selfish and desire to serve our own purposes. Help us all Lord to see your glory and to desire to have your love fill us, thereby helping us to achieve the way of perfection. This revelation helped me to realize one thing: I don't want to be on top of the world, standing over everyone else. Instead, I want to be Under the world supporting it on my shoulders; serving it on my knees; and helping others to see how much disorder we create in the world by being selfish. I understand much better now, when Jesus said we must deny ourself, we must die to ourself, and only live to love and serve others. I know many people may find this strange, what I am saying, but I pray that God may reveal His Love to all. Glory be to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever. Amen. This retreat runs as a quiet theme as I go about my all too busy and obstacle ridden life (at the moment) Thank you! There is absolutely nothing I can do except trust and put my life into God's hands as events over run me in week 3. Just began week three. Sitting here looking at the photo and transposing it to all the things the Lord has given me. Everything I have; a wife, kids, a home, income, reasonable health at 65, a car, ability to travel a little, gratitude, etc., is a Gift from God that I hardly deserve. All I did was what I was told to do when I went to AA 25 years ago. Put the plug in the jug, make meeting and don't drink. What I learned was to live my life one day at a time and put my trust in a Higher Power. I have chosen Jesus as my Higher Power and I have yet to be disappointed. Although I have had many ups and downs, disappointments and victories, everything so far has worked out to my benefit. When I began to redraw the picture of our world for this week of retreat (3), I found that it is hard to say anything original as the picture has remained maddeningly the same .There still exists war, conflict, abuse, evildoers, violence, inhumanity, injustice greed and lust for power. Thank
you Lord for showing me the Light in Darkness , for Your selfless
gift, for Your Willing to save us through Your only Begotten Son "JESUS"
who was nailed on the Cross for our salvation. It leads me to hear
Jesus saying to me when I look up to the Holes of His Hands, Feet
and Side : "you are the one another for whom I was crucified ." As
I ended week 3, I felt a bit like St. Francis, being in tune
with nature and knowing the maestro of it all. I noticed in detail
the colours of bluejays, cardinals, doves and sparrows. All the shades,
and these fellows were showing off their God given plummage. The Lord
gave me a treat. I stood close to a bluejay, who stared at me as he
waded in a tiny puddle of water and bathed. This was amazing as I've
tried many times on my own to get close to him. If I just let
go and let God everything happens smoothly. I wonder why I make things
hard for myself by trying too hard. This past week, the Lord keeps
telling me to "be". I tend to "do". Being fills me with peace and
I enjoy the day no matter what happens. I am writing down many painful
memories from the past as I move on in this retreat and they no longer
scare me. I no longer feel guilty writing about my abused childhood.
It's uncomfortable but that will pass. God is gracious. This is an
area that God wants me to embrace. Here I go and I'm not
alone. Yeah!! You may use my name. Irene. I have
a long way to go, but God's not in a hurry.
I was ready to start Week 3, when I read Why Start on September 16. Now, I am going to slow down a little and restart on September 16. First, I have found it a little hard to review 72 years in such a short time. Second, I think it will be better if all is in harmony - the retreat, the church calendar and the Liturgy of the Hours. Thank
you so very much for all that you are doing for all of us in this
retreat. Like many others, I have never had a chance to make
an extended retreat and I intend to make the most of this opportunity.
Pax et bonum. This morning I went out to get the newspaper a little before dawn. The constellation Orion was still blazing in the sky, his arms raised in joy as he danced. I thought, Orion must be permanently in the third week of his retreat, where he has discovered that the purpose of his existence is to know, love and serve God! I am so happy. This retreat brings serenity to my life in a time of turmoil, albeit joyful turmoil: my younger son is getting married October 7th, and we love his bride-to-be very much already. You may use my name. I am Anne Cuddeback It is the 3rd week of this retreat ,but it's actually taking almost 6 weeks to accomplish. I love the Prayers to begin the day, as I read them out loud in my office with the doors closed, I'm reminded of how important it is to consult the Almightly before proceeding with the busines of the day, after all ...he is the big cheese around here. It's like having a weekly staff meeting with the boss. Even with the constant reminder surrounding me as a full time youth minister, I forget this very important thought, I can hardly imagen what it was like when I worked in non-church setting. As I look around me and see all the blessings I have received....I am in awe of him more and more. It's a cool thing to experience and I only pray that I may help those around me to share in this experience as well. I am in my third week of the exercises, and was very touched by the photo album this morning. I have copied these for my own use - to put all over my house as reminders of scripture passages and their meanings in my life - and have also emailed several of them to my son - who has suffered for over 30 years with medical problems. I felt these passages and the pictures would help him in his suffering - to be able to relate to others in similar situations and also know that God is always with him. Now I will go on to the other parts of this week's exercises. But wanted to share how inspired I was by this album. The picture of the village (3) brings tears to my eyes, only when I imagine the lives of the people there. I started asking myself if I could imagine pictures of scenes around the world, where I had looked but not shed a tear. With each scene, I tried to imagine the suffering of the people, and I could feel the sadness and outrage within me. Then I sat with the horrifying image of the two university students, who tied another student to a fence post, and tortured and killed him, simply because he was gay. Oh,
Lord, how do you feel? Oh, how you must weep! Oh, how
your people abuse each other! Oh, thank you for the image of
the cross - your response! When I ask, "how much do you love
us?" your response, "this much," is even more powerful for me!
Thank you! As I start week 3 after a bit of a layoff as I completed week 1 & 2 during lent. The theme of being open to let God into our lives struck me . I have been blessed with the material comforts of life, and have no worries in this area . However during the past five years I have felt that I need something more meaningful in my life . To date however I have been unable to find the right direction to move towards a more meaningful life. I have asked God for help in this area , with little success. What I believe is my problem , is my inability to be open to let God direct my life. He is no doubt giving me guidance , but I have not received his guidance due to my lack of openess to him. God grant me the openess to be capable of receiving the graces that I need to chart the direction that you have planned for me. May all people in the same situation as me strive to create that openess to hear God's plan for us. The photos, particularly the photo of those chairs (3), has sustained the background for me. The "Getting Started" page helps me make this a real retreat. I want to share that it is changing my day and my week. It is getting easier to plug back into the reflection about the purpose of creation, and my purpose, by briefly returning to sit on one of those chairs. At times, things get chaotic in my life, and from the perspective of this overview of my purpose, it all seem to make so much sense. I think I'm understanding more what "finding God in all things" really means.
I am almost ready to conclude three weeks of my retreat. And I feel like I have not even begun. I am in a rather isolated position so I can't find anyone else to share with. I am grateful for this web site and hope that nothing changes to erase it from my being able to get in touch. I want all that God can give me thru this site. I have added Week Four photo to my desktop and also the photo from week three to help keep me centered on Week Three exercises. I did have the picture of the mother and baby on the desk top, but removed it tonight, since Alexander was born yesterday, November 20. 7 lbs, 12 oz. My granddaughter had a very easy birth. So easy in fact that noone was prepared and the baby was birthed in the bed. Brett, the father almost collapsed afterward, since he did not get to do the usual things in preparation of the birth. Afterall this is the third child, and first boy. There is something about this birth that is a center point in my retreat, I do believe. But understanding it all has not become part of me. While in my own everyday life I get very discouraged at all that I have to do to care for my husband. But I believe I am worrying too much and am not really seeing what God is really doing for me. Tonight is the first time that I have reviewed the notes that accompany the Online Retreat Guide - Week 3. I will return to the Week 1 and Week 2 to sort of establish myself more with St. Ignatius. Jesus will show me the way. I feel tears coming, so guess it is time for me to retire. The time is 12:00 midnight and another day is forming. In the Love of Jesus. I just finished Week Three, and it wasn't an easy week: I skipped three days, felt guilty, forced myself to do four of the days anyway, and seemed as though I was fighting the process the whole time. Very different from the first two weeks that brought me a lot of peace and acceptance -- things I lack, often. I suspect God is letting me slog through some desolation to see if I really am going to stick with Her, or go off and be my usual over-energized, under-sensitive self. The sharings from the 51-year-old female attorney and from the woman who is wondering if a relationship she treasures is really from God or is actually an obstacle struck me hard. I am wondering what on earth God is planning for me, likewise a middle-aged female attorney, who is "stuck in a moment, and I can't get out of it," as the U-2 song says. Do I challenge the relationship to be the kind of friendship I had envisioned and that I was sure God had given to me just for that purpose; or let it go? All week I seemed to fight the idea of trying to find "purpose" because I am just trying to BE without asking "why?" all the time. I could use a little more heart and a lot less brain -- shades of the Wizard of Oz! I loved, too, the story from the man who used to wear his alcoholic dad's plaid shirt. Perhaps what I need more than anything right now is that kind of symbol to lead me deeper into this restlessness and dissatisfaction that are plaguing me, to give a sense of coherence to my reflection. The best news is that we're all incredible sinners, but God loves us just the way we are. What a wild, profligate God! You are in my prayers; please keep me in yours. |