Creighton University

Unhealthy or abusive relationships occur all the time.  The "abuser" may be either male or female. Abuse can occur in both heterosexual and same-sex relationships.

Common characteristics of unhealthy relationships include: aggression; intimidation and control; economic domination; and minimizing, denying, and blaming. 

Different kinds of abuse happen in unhealthy relationships – even if it is at subtle levels and hard to see at first.  Abuse can come in many forms: physical, emotional, verbal and/or sexual.

PHYSICAL ABUSE
Does your partner:
 Push or shove you
 Hold you back from leaving
 Hit or punch you
 Lock you out of the car
 Slap or bite you
 Kick or choke you
 Throw objects at you
 Leave you behind somewhere
 Control your actions

EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Does your partner:
 Ignore your feelings
 Insult or ignore your beliefs/values
 Refuse to socialize or talk to you
 Make decisions for you
 Talk about involvements w/ other partners
 Act jealous for no reason
 Shout at you
 Withhold approval or affection from you as punishment
 Threaten to hurt you
 Manipulate you with lies and contradictions
 Drive recklessly to frighten or intimidate you

VERBAL ABUSE
Does your partner:
 Make you feel threatened, intimidated, humiliated, yelled at, inferior or stupid
 Call you names, make you feel crazy, play mind games
 Use emotional or verbal assaults to make you feel sad, worthless or unwanted
 Constantly use words or feelings to criticize, belittle, embarrass, shame, insult or reject you
 Make excessive, aggressive, unreasonable demands that are beyond your capacity

SEXUAL ABUSE
Does your partner:
 Joke or make remarks about your sex/intimacy
 Get jealous, angry, tell you that you should be more sexually active
 Insist that you dress in a more sexual way than you feel comfortable with
 Minimize the importance of your feelings about sex/intimacy
 Criticizes you about your sexual performance
 Withholds affection
 Flirt or make moves on others in front of you
 Call you sexual names as a put-down
 Insist on unwanted touching or other unwanted sexual/intimate act

**If you answered "yes" to 3 or more questions you are experiencing dangerous signs of relationship abuse. It may be time to seek out help, after all YOU DESERVE TO BE RESPECTED AND HAPPY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS!! 

ALSO REMEMBER--YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  Unfortunately, somewhere between ¼ and ½  of all young adult relationships involve some form of abuse—whether it be physical, emotional, verbal, sexual or psychological. Oftentimes, destructive relationship dynamics appear slowly over time and you do not realize you are being controlled and manipulated until you are deeply involved in the relationship. You may feel confused and scared about what is going on, but you need to deal with it because the abuse will likely get worse over time. Please find help and support for yourself.

How to Help Yourself:
• You must realize the seriousness of the abuse and make your getting help the first priority in your life.
• Talk to trusted friends, family members, or professional counselors to help support you as you entangle yourself from the relationship and regain your former self-esteem that has been temporarily stolen from you

GET SUPPORT!
**Please call one of the following resources for support. There are well qualified and trained professionals to help you every step of the way.

Health & Counseling Center
Creighton University
Harper Center
Omaha, NE 68178
(402) 280-2735

YWCA Omaha
222 S. 29th Street
Omaha, NE 68131
 (402) 345-6555

YWCA Omaha 24-hour hotline for sexual assault and domestic violence (402) 345-7273